Family.......

Well I have one day to go until my family arrives. They get here tomorrow morning around 6. I have to say that for the first time, I am not excited about them coming. I am not ready to face my mom, or especially my step-dad and I am NOT looking forward to having to say goodbye to my brother on Thursday morning, knowing all that he is struggling with. It's easier just not to see him. I know it's pathetic, but sometimes it makes things easier. Anyways, I have a few prayer requests. The first one would be for that initial seeing each other again, and the awkwardness of giving my step-dad a hug. I rather do something else (and yes I am working on my anger :) The second would be the things planned for the weekend, and the few days they are here next week. Between my schedule of babysitting and computer classes, and trying to fit into their schedule things are going to be a little messy. Please pray that God will show me what I need to do, and what is ok to let go of. We will also be seeing family that I have not seen in years and I just don't know if I am ready for that. I think the biggest one is them coming to church. I honestly at this moment don't think they will come, because they have said they would come before and then not showed up. But I really think they are, and it's only Friday and my heart is already pumping and my stomach is a mess. I am SCARED! I have not told them what church is like (or for the fact that it is 2 hours) and if I ever had fear of man concerns before they are FOR SURE here right now. I already feel partly embrassed (for who knows what is even going to happen. How I love to be in control and to know exactly what is going to happen and how they are going to react :) I wish I could control all of it, but I can't. Please pray for peace for my heart, and that Sunday morning that seriously God would be bigger than my family. I am afraid my concerns are going to get in the way of my chance to worship God. I know this is all crazy, but it has been what I have been thinking about and struggling with for a quite a long time. So a couple of weeks ago I read Psalm 27, hoping it would encourage some of the people at worship practice, but now I think it is encouraging me. vs. 1-3, 10-14..."The Lord is my light, and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear, though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will recieve me. Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witness rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. WAIT for the Lord; be STRONG and take heart and WAIT for the Lord." Thank-you for your prayers, and continued support. I look forward with much hope and faith to be able to share all that God does not only in my family, but in my own heart. Love you all!