What is sleep?

Ok, so I have one last prayer request and that would be for SLEEP! What is sleep you ask? When you sleep through the night for at least 4-8 hours depending on what kind of sleeper you are (and if you have children and they don't wake you up). BUT I the past 3 nights have averaged around 1 to 1 1/2 hours of sleep a night-not normal at all. Tonight I don't even know if it could add up to an hour. Also that I don't get sick, because when I don't get a lot of sleep is when I tend to get those rotten colds :( Well I am going to go try do something that will make me tired. Hopefully I will get a few hours in :)

Celebration

I am leaving for Celebration tomorrow morning and I cannot wait! I also get to hopefully visit the Taylors and Mawhinneys while I am down there. I wanted to ask you all to pray for me. When I heard the theme part of me even said do I really want to face this, but I feel like I need to-there really is not other time better than this weekend. Things that have happened over the past few weeks I believe are leading up to this weekend. Please pray that God would really pour out His spirit, and that I would embrace it completely, without one inch of me in doubt. I am really scared, but exicted all at the same time. The theme is celebrating reconciliation. Please pray first that I would have that reconciliation with my Heavenly Father, and then next with family and a few friends. My pride stands in the way even at this very moment. I want to be angry. I want to do it on my own. I want to be in control, but deep inside of me somewhere I know He is longing to bring me back to Him and to set me free. Also please pray that new friendships will form and old ones will be restored and grow stronger. I look forward to sharing what God does. Love you all!

Grace

You know what I love is even when the world around you seems to be crumbling down around you, there are no words to truly express what is on your heart, but God brings back an old song (or two) into your life that just seems to echo what you want to say, but can't find the words to say, can you tell I love music :) So here they are. Grace By: Silers Bald My heart is so proud. My eyes are so unfocused. I see the things You've done through me As great things I have done. And now You gently break me. I cry just like a baby. You hold me as my Father, And mold me as my Maker. And I ask You How many times will You pick me up. When I keep on letting You down? And each time I will fall short of Your glory, How far will forgiveness aboud? And You answer, "My child, I love you, And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace." At times I may grow weak. And feel a bit discouraged. Knowing that someone somewhere Can do a better job. For who am I to serve You? I know, I don't deserve You. But that's the part, that burns in my heart, And keeps me hanging on. And You are so patient with me, Lord. As I walk with You, I'm learning About what Your grace really means. How all of my transgressions Were paid at Calvary. So istead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You. By giving up my life to You For all that You've given to me. "My daily sufficient grace."

Psalm 23 By: Jason Upton Your hands Reached into the depths of darkness Your arms Pulled me to the light above Your voice Spoke the word that broke my heart Your eyes Burn with holy passion, fire, and love You lead Me beside the quiet waters You walk In the shadows of death's darkened door You make Tables right before my enemies You take oil and then you pour it over me The Lord is my Shepherd I will fear no evil You are my Shepherd I will fear no evil Surely goodness and mercy cover me All the days of my life they cover me Surely I'm going to dwell in the house of the Lord Forever and ever and ever more

And the survey says.....

I need something fun to do, to get my mind off of all the craziness so I came up with my own little survey pf very random questions! ENJOY :) What time is it? 5:30 pm What did you have for dinner? I think I am going to un-thaw the spaghetti that Jenn put in the freezer this morning since there are really no other options :) What did you do today? Went to church, then meet up with my extended family for lunch, then came back to the house I am housesitting for an read a book and RELAXED! What is your favorite color? I don't know what it is called but it's not baby blue and it's not teal, just in between there. Not let your imagnation decide what it looks like. Do you want to have children, if so how many? Well I least want to have 2-4, then adopt 2-4 depending how many I have in the first place. I am all about even numbers of children. Then I want to foster as many children as possible. Yet this is my heart wants. It really all depends on what God says and if I ever get married what my husband would say :) What are some names for your children? Millie, Jacob, Emmaline Joy What is your favorite verse? Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we HOPE for but certain of what we do not see." What are you currently reading? I am picking through Depression, and Uprooting Anger What are you currently listening too? Hear our Prayer by: Hillsong What is your dream car? An SUV, doesn't really matter what kind but I want a sunroof, leather interior and seats that can either go hot or cold What is one of your biggest fears? That my family will not be saved If your house was burning down, your family was out and you wanted to save something what would it be? my pictures Where is one place in the world that you would like to visit? I guess Ireland or somewhere over in Europe. I saw pictures from there and it looks breathtaking Mountains or the beach? The Mountains Hot or cold? COLD....my hair would never be messed up and I wouldn't sweat then I could give lots of people hugs What is your favorite restraunt in Orlando? Seasons 52 What is your favorite food? My mouth is watering for a good steak What is something that people might not know about you? That I am crazy....J/K how about that I have a freckle in my eye What is your dream job? To do stuff like I did with Student Goverment plan and adminstrate events of any type. Sometimes I wish I could go back to high school just for that

Be prepared and don't say I did not warn you....it's long & very detailed :)

It's been a long time. I have nothing exciting to share. I am still without a job, still dealing with mucho anger, bitterness in my heart about certain things and still feel completely and utterly lost in all that God is doing. Though He has been faithful to reveal that He is still here, even though I have continually tried to runaway. So in the past week there have been multitudes of things that the Lord has made it obvious of His presence in my life. Here are just a few of the things. Reading scripture at the mic at church last weekend, having a scripture last night at Deluge that the girl right in front of me read the same thing, gave me boldness to go share a piece of my testimony from Haiti and then He POURED out His spirit. As some of my friends were praying for me, my dear sweet friend Julie came to read me Hebrews 12, and I fell to my knees (actually my legs pretty much gave out underneath me) because it was the exact same verses that I had been meditating on the past couple of days. I fought whatever happened last night, and now I wonder if it will ever happen again because I tried so hard to run away from it. Not saying that the Lord didn't move because He did. But I wonder what else could have happened if I had ONLY opened up my little hands and said "here Lord." I want freedom, but I have such a hard time surrendering my complete life to Him. Because I want to know what is going to happen, I want control and I want to know that everything is going to work out. So I guess it's not just surrender it's TRUST too. I am at the place now where it's not what do I believe, it is do I choose to be obedient in what He has called me to do? Which I honestly believe that I am getting closer and closer but for some reason there is still something holding me back. What happens if I do let go? I would appreciate your prayers in this journey and pray that all my craziness (especially lately) does not pull you further away from me. Thank-you for loving me, and for all the wisdom and joy that you pour into my life. Love you all! Here is a song that spoke tremendously to me this morning at church. Enjoy! How do I thank You, O Lord For taking my place on the cross And how do I thank you, O Lord For all of Your mercy and kindness For calling me to You For letting me hear You For opening my heart to the gospel As long as I have breath I will praise You As long as my heart beats I will sing As long as life flows in my veins I will bless Your name How do I thank you, O Lord For all of the love in Your eyes And how do I thank you, O Lord For how You have changed me forever For giving me power, hope and a future With favor and gladness and every good thing