God

It is 7:00 in the morning on Saturday, and I am exhausted but I am full of hope, gratitude and thankfulness as I am seeing God work around me & through me. I went to bed late last night partly because that whole process of me turning off the lights, going to bed & knowing that I am here alone is still pretty hard for me. About a week & half ago I had a very scary night, but grateful for how in this very difficult situation I have had friends that have gotten up at 3:30 in the morning to sit with me as I wait for AAA & then welcomed me into their home, who have listened, cared and how in this I have cried out to God to help me in the overwhelming fear & anxiety that has seem to overtake me lately. I have had some very hard circumstances in my life lately, ones that if I had known they were coming my way I would have told God "no way," and probably runaway (like I always do ;) BUT now looking back I am so grateful to see the depths of what God has done in my heart. My trust towards others, and especially Him has grown in ways I never thought possible. This is only the beginning of me changing, but isn't that part of the process of continually trusting Him daily? Just a few months ago I remember thinking, pondering my major lack of trust towards others, and toward a God who I know in my mind is sovereign, good, and has my best interest in heart. Yet in my mind I was continually not believing that He was those things. Not wanting to fall into self-pity, but just knowing my past, my life I was starting to wondering would I ever be FREE, and increasingly becoming angry towards those around me, and even angry at the God that has given me MORE than I could ever think, want or deserve. I think being "FREE" is me daily continually crying out to God for His help, talking to myself, believing the best of every situation, and rejoicing with others. This is SO hard for me, but I am grateful that my heart has turned, and God has help me direct my eyes Heavenward so that I can see the amazing power of the Cross and the blood that was poured out for me. I am learning to love God more & more, and in a new, deeper way. I am feeling somewhat free of not being held down by my continued sin, or past sin, and knowing that there is grace for today. I still hope & pray that this is my heart a week from now, or even a year from now. We serve a faithful God, and I know what He has brought me through, and probably will bring my way again is to only learn to trust Him more, to have a child-like faith and grow deeper in my walk with Him. O God of strength Your hand is on my life Bringing peace to me You know my frame, You know how I am made You planned all my days Hand of mercy, hand of love Giving power to overcome If all beneath me falls away I know that You are God

For those of you not on Facebook

Look what I received in the mail the other day. A very cute notepad with my initial of course and some gift certificates to Outback. My dad is so generous & amazing that he would choose to give these to me.

Every pattern of Vera Bradley :)

Isn't it adorable? :) Inside it has some of Vera's journal entries from 1931, and also has information about each pattern. Like when it was started, & retired. I LOVE it!! I put a $100 from my tax refund aside to spend in anyway and just to have fun. So I brought this, got a pedicure/manicure, and some fun gifts for friends children. I don't have much money left, but it has been fun!!

Haircut

SO it probably looks like I did not get a lot cut off but when you see how much she thinned out you would be surprised. There was a WHOLE lot of hair on the ground. I am trying to keep it long for the summer/early fall then going to chop it short again :) I know, I know not the best quality picture but I still wanted to show you :)

Healer

I love this song, but when I heard this little girl in the video sing it the other day this song became even more meaningful to me. SO many people recently I know lately have been dealing with cancer, health issues, death of loved ones that had battling different diseases and seeing how she has chosen to glorify God through these difficult circumstances is beyond what I can even comprehend. It made me realize that I need to have faith for these friends & family, and be in prayer for their lives. I love seeing God glorify Himself through children. He is worthy to be praised. P.S. The day she sang this song was the first day in 7 months that she had been back to church, and the pastor came up to her that morning and asked her if she wanted to sing that song at the end of the service. I think she did an AMAZING job for being so young and finding out that morning :) "I believe You're my healer I believe You are all I need I believe You're my portion I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus, You're all I need You hold my every moment You calm my raging seas You walk with me through fire And heal all my disease I trust in You I trust in You I believe You're my healer I believe You are all I need I believe You're my portion I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus, You're all I need Nothing is impossible for You Nothing is impossible for You Nothing is impossible for You Nothing is impossible for You!"

I'm back....

I can't believe this summer is almost over, and that we have our last camp next weekend for work. Then I begin the process of taking over another job, plus my everyday normal stuff :) It's going to be interesting. August is going to be interesting, but i am trusting God has a bigger plan that even I understand, at least that is my hope. I am going to try to do better about keeping up with this and posting more pictures, stories, and the honest truth about what has really been going on in my life, though I already know some people are not going to want to hear it but ready or not here it comes!! BUT I thought it would be fun to start off my first blog back with something funny and boy is this funny (well at least it is to me). Just watch this video, and wait to see the bride walk down at the very end. Guess what ladies (and gentleman who read this blog) I will SO be doing this at my wedding because well I NEVER ever go out of my box, always play it safe & cool, and well I think this would be SO much fun and not my norm. I probably would be wise and choose another song because this one isn't so great lyric wise. Oh I know yall are probably rolling on the ground laughing at me, and thinking yeah right she would do that (and your probably right in some sense) but a girl can dream. Though these days I seriously doubt I will ever get married because of my past and the way things have continue to go. ANYWAYS, enough of the craziness now enjoy the video :) I can't wait to hear what you think!

Last night & something to encourage your weary soul

Last night I had the opportunity to take this precious girl out. I had SO much fun, and was so blessed by her presence. I will try to upload pictures and share more of our fun night soon :) I also wanted to share a song that I was thinking about today. He restores us again and again, and He is with us through EVERY dark valley. How kind is He. Thank you Lord for these words, and the hope that they bring to my weary soul. I pray that these encourage you as much as they have to me. The Lord Is Music by Pat Sczebel, Words by Pat Sczebel and Bob Kauflin as recorded on Psalms The depths of Your grace who can measure You fully supply all I need You restore my weary soul again and again And lead me in Your righteousness and peace You’re with me through every dark valley There’s nothing that I have to fear You are there to comfort me again and again Protecting me, assuring me You’re near The Lord is The Lord is my shepherd The Lord is The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want You gave Your own life for my ransom So I could rejoice at Your side You have shown Your faithfulness again and again There’s nothing good that You will not provide I will dwell in Your house All the days of my life I will dwell in Your house All the days of my life © 2008 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)