Let me tell you how the LORD has been GOOD!

Last night, Janelle handed me an envelope and said that your friend wants to remain anonymous. It had some cash & a VERY encouraging letter. One that brought sweet tears to my eyes. I hope this person does not mind ;) but I want to share what was written and why it was it encouraging:

Katherine:
I wanted to take the time to write you a quick anonymous note to let you know that I am praying for you. The Lord knows what you need before you need it, and during this season of your life He is only going to prove His faithfulness all the more as you learn to continually rely on and trust in Him. Each step we take is a gift. Each road we walk is ordained, even if we don't understand it now. The cool thing is that when we are standing before His throne, clothed in white robes purchased by Jesus Himself, we won't be wondering whether God's plan was good or not. We will be declaring His praise, knowing that He is good, assured that everything He did was perfect, even the tough times having been redeemed by His perfect love. You are a treasured, friend. I hope this encourages you.

There was SO much that encouraged me about this letter, but especially what I put in italics. Then even after that as this sweet person talked about Heaven in all of this. The amazing thing in all of this, is the conversations, thoughts, prayers, tears, songs that I have had with the Lord lately are exactly in this small simple paragraph. Not only the money is a sign of His faithfulness, but the words too as I have not shared with anyone what was going on. He works through others in mysterious ways.

I don't want to end there though in as lately I have SEEN the Lord's faithfulness. Let me share in some of those ways:

Before I lost my job, I had enough money to pay off for the rest of the year my monthly dues for my homeowners.
I have been able to faithfully pay every bill on time, and still with a little money to spare.
I have been given money or Publix gift cards right at the time I would have needed it.
I have been able to help others serving them in a way I could have not done it while having a job.
Things that were broken, or seemed broken are fixed, without anything I did to it.


My favorite one though would have to be me desiring more of my Savior, wanting to spend time in the word instead of it feeling like it was duty. I have enjoyed seeing how I am being encouraged by Spurgeon hundreds of years later, & it being exactly what I need to here. Like yesterday, had part of the lyrics from On Christ the solid rock I stand.

"His oath, His covenant, and blood, Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; All other ground is sinking sand."

Or how I read in Psalm 27, where "He hides me in His shelter, and to wait for the Lord, be strong, take courage, WAIT for the Lord." Even though this season has been difficult I look forward to seeing all that the Lord has in store as I continue to walk forward, with open arms, TRUSTING Him, learning from Him. I often image myself lost in worship, dancing, singing, bowing. I want to imitate that childlike faith even now, during this time, and not just image it.

"This is our God, this is our King. This is the anthem of the redeemed. Tell the whole world, let everyone sing. This is our God, this is our King!!!!"

Psalm 16

I LOVE this Psalm, especially right now, at this particularly time in my life. I remember when I received a sweet note on my birthday 6 years ago, and verses 5-6 were on there. I had just started going to Metro. I would have NOT wanted to be where I am 6 years later. I would have never planned this. I would have had that job that I have always wanted. I would have been married. I would have a few close friendships instead of not deep relationships. Family members would be saved. Life would be different.  BUT the Lord has decided that THIS (being unemployed, unmarried, relationship issues, life) IS what the LORD has chosen for me and it is GOOD! 

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight. [2]

4 The sorrows of those who run after [3] another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me. [4]
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being [5] rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption. [6]

11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Paul Baloche - How great is the love

I am hoping to finish my blog post in the next few days about the encouragement I received from Godly  friends today & Psalm 16, the Lord (and a little update of my life) But I wanted to share this song we have been singing at church called "How great is the love," by: Paul Baloche. I posted the lyrics below. One of my new favorite songs. LOVE where it says "We have been ransomed, We've been rescued, we've been purchased with the price of Your own life, Thank You for the way, That You love us."


Thank You for the way 
That You love us 
How You love us 

Thank You for the way 
You have made us 

We were created 
For Your pleasure 
For Your presence 
For the glory of Your name 
Thank You for the way 
That You love us 

Jesus 
Faithful King 
Lord with grateful hearts we sing 

How great is the love 
How great is the love 
Of our Savior 

The weight of the cross 
The curse of our shame 
You carried it all 
And rose from the grave 


Thank You for the grace 
That has saved us 
You forgave us 

Thank You for the way 
You have freed us 

We have been ransomed 
We've been rescued 
We've been purchased 
With the price of Your own life 
Thank You for the way 
That You love us

A year and 8 days later.... :)

A year and 8 days later I decided to finally write something on this blog. It is actually 4:00 in the morning as I write this. Once again no sleep for me. Struggling with crazy fear tonight. There is SO much that could be said right now of what this past year has been for me, but right now in this moment I am grateful for the Lords sustaining grace, and how He has yet to let go of me despite my kicking, screaming and bad attitudes as I walked through once again difficult trials. The picture at the top of my blog represents what I pray this year will be for me. Full of HOPE. Trusting whatever might come my way knowing that this is all part of a bigger plan. I often find my heart singing a few of the same songs over and over. One of them is God moves :

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm
Deep in His dark and hidden mines
With never-failing skill
He fashions all His bright designs
And works His sovereign will

So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You

O fearful saints new courage take
The clouds that you now dread
Are big with mercy and will break
In blessings on your head
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face

So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You
When tears are great
And comforts few
We hope in mercies ever new
We trust in You

God’s purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain

The others one I find myself singing are: In Christ Alone, He's always been faithful to me, How do I thank you oh Lord, Before the throne of God above, There is a Higher Throne, Jesus Thank you, There is a day. Aww such precious words that bring HOPE to our lives. I long for that day when we will be gathered around the throne singing praises to His name. With NO more tears, NO more pain. Oh come quickly Lord. 

Until next time I leave you this sweet picture of the girl I last talked about on my blog a year ago. 

Here is Gracie from her first birthday party just a few days ago as she takes on her birthday cake. 

This picture looks like it came out of magazine. SO precious! 

Happy birthday sweet girl! You have such a special place in my heart. I love you!

Meet Gracie

On September 16th sweet Grace Suzanne Mawhinney was born at 8:23 in the morning. She was 7 pounds, 6 oz & 20 inches long. Sweet Gracie was born to a young 15 year old girl who choose to give her child a better life by giving her up for adoption. It gives me chills thinking about all that this young, vulnerable girl has had to walk through this past year. How amazing to think of God's redemption, love & grace He has for not only Gracie but her birth mom. Scott, Janna thank you for your example you have been to me in the way you have walked through this LONG process. Cried out to God for His help, His provision, His wisdom. I am rejoicing with you here. Wishing you were still only a street away so I could serve your family, but I am thankful that I still have the opportunity to be apart of your lives. I can't wait to meet this precious girl. To watch what God has in store for her life, to watch Michael & Levi be the protectors of their little sister and to see all the pink that gets to enter your house now ;) I love yall!

God

It is 7:00 in the morning on Saturday, and I am exhausted but I am full of hope, gratitude and thankfulness as I am seeing God work around me & through me. I went to bed late last night partly because that whole process of me turning off the lights, going to bed & knowing that I am here alone is still pretty hard for me. About a week & half ago I had a very scary night, but grateful for how in this very difficult situation I have had friends that have gotten up at 3:30 in the morning to sit with me as I wait for AAA & then welcomed me into their home, who have listened, cared and how in this I have cried out to God to help me in the overwhelming fear & anxiety that has seem to overtake me lately. I have had some very hard circumstances in my life lately, ones that if I had known they were coming my way I would have told God "no way," and probably runaway (like I always do ;) BUT now looking back I am so grateful to see the depths of what God has done in my heart. My trust towards others, and especially Him has grown in ways I never thought possible. This is only the beginning of me changing, but isn't that part of the process of continually trusting Him daily? Just a few months ago I remember thinking, pondering my major lack of trust towards others, and toward a God who I know in my mind is sovereign, good, and has my best interest in heart. Yet in my mind I was continually not believing that He was those things. Not wanting to fall into self-pity, but just knowing my past, my life I was starting to wondering would I ever be FREE, and increasingly becoming angry towards those around me, and even angry at the God that has given me MORE than I could ever think, want or deserve. I think being "FREE" is me daily continually crying out to God for His help, talking to myself, believing the best of every situation, and rejoicing with others. This is SO hard for me, but I am grateful that my heart has turned, and God has help me direct my eyes Heavenward so that I can see the amazing power of the Cross and the blood that was poured out for me. I am learning to love God more & more, and in a new, deeper way. I am feeling somewhat free of not being held down by my continued sin, or past sin, and knowing that there is grace for today. I still hope & pray that this is my heart a week from now, or even a year from now. We serve a faithful God, and I know what He has brought me through, and probably will bring my way again is to only learn to trust Him more, to have a child-like faith and grow deeper in my walk with Him. O God of strength Your hand is on my life Bringing peace to me You know my frame, You know how I am made You planned all my days Hand of mercy, hand of love Giving power to overcome If all beneath me falls away I know that You are God

For those of you not on Facebook

Look what I received in the mail the other day. A very cute notepad with my initial of course and some gift certificates to Outback. My dad is so generous & amazing that he would choose to give these to me.